Sunday Jan. 8. I know it has been a long time. I have been sick. My mortality has gotten up with me. For
long time I ignored the fact that I am dying but now I have to face facts. Cancer on the brain acts like
small strokes. I have even forgotten what I was going to say. Later gator.

Monday. December 26. I am writing better today. I think it is better because I am taking a steroid in
preparation to taking a new chemo tomorrow. Please don't nag me because I don't remember the name of
the stuff I will take. The important thing is that I am reading, writing, and thinking better for a while. Sandy
is planning on going to chemo with me tomorrow. I must confess that this bugs me. I would rather not sit and
make small talk with her. But it is only once every 5 or 6 months, so I can bear it.

We had a very Christmas, and some leftovers. We all look like we are on our last legs. I'm dying and in a
wheelchair. Peggy is using oxygen constantly and she has degenerative lung disease. Dad just looks gray
and old, but after all he is 83 years old. Then Perry has use of only one good arm. Actually, poor Craig
is better off than the rest of us.

Looking back on it though, we have had good lives and I have enjoyed our travels best. We have always
traveled in the USA which I do regret. I would have liked to travel in Canada, Mexico, Britain, Australia.
and Europe, mostly in that order. But considering what we could afford, we have done very well. Of course,
our trips to Wyoming and Yellowstone were the best. However, Disney World is fabulous.

We have taken four trips to Disney World and stayed at the Fort Wilderness trailers each time. Unless you
can afford to have concierge service at Flaglers', Fort Wilderness cannot be beaten. I will tell you why.
First of all you have a private trailer that consists of a kitchen, a great room with Murphy bed, television,
sofa, and two chairs. Then there is a full size bath as big as any or bigger than any hotel room. Then finally
there is a bed room with queen size bed, bunk bed, an extra sink, and a full closet. Of course there is
air conditioning and two exits. The kitchen has everything you can use at home: a refrigerator, a stove,
dish washer and all other amenities you could want, including daily maid service. The daily maid service
is enough to make most women drool.

After you arrive at Disney World you have full service of the Disney travel system. You can and do travel
all over the property via bus, lake taxi, and monorail. Of course you can take your own car also, but why?
Most visitors arrange a complete pass to the park so that they can go anywhere they wish. I don't
even remember where that all involves anymore. I know that is all the theme parks: Magic Kingdom,
EPCOT, MGM, and Disney's Wild Kingdom. There is also an island for injured animals and 2 or 3
water parks. Finally there is a place where a person enjoy the night life as well a shopping area. Just
in case, you can visit any of the Disney hotels if you want to taste the restaurants or sample their
theme drinks. They claim to be the world's primer resort destination, and I have no doubt of that.
I believe that a person could probably cover everything, enjoy everything in about 3 to 4 weeks.
There is probably too much repetion designed just to allow every visitor to sample everything.

Frankly, I am tired now so I will follow this up some time later. Chow or is that Chao?

Sunday, December 25. Christmas Day. I woke up and got up about 10, then had left over moo shu chicken
for breakfast. Sandy arrived before 11 to fix mashed potatoes and rolls. I was going to help but after I took
my pills I began to fix nauseated. I drank some ice water and held the trash bag in front of my face in thinking
that I was going to vomited. Then after a while I went to bed. Sandy and Charlie continued cooking while I
slept for about 2 hrs. When I awoke Sandy had gone; Charlie had finished the potatoes and the bread was
finished. We just sat in stupor for a while then decided to open our presents. I think we were all happy with
our gifts. I know I was, and I think every else one was. We had no more finished our gifts when the rest of the gang arrived: Papa, Peggy, Perry, and Sandy. Sandy had carried her gifts from us to her so that she could open
them. Perry had brought all of his gifts from him to us to open. Again I think everyone was happy. Then
mostly by herself Sandy finished laying out the buffet meal and we all ate. Sandy had ham, turkey, sweet
potato souflet, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, salad, crudites, pumpkin pie and pecan pie. I think that was
all but I wouldn't bet on it. As usual we had way too much. We had way too much and ate until we floundered.
We also watched old Bob Hope Christmas specials, which were nostalic. Jesse stopped and picked up
his gift. His half-brother, Nathen, was with him. We had a very good Christmas. About 2:30 or 3 Papa
decided that I needed a nap (joke, he wanted to nap) so Papa and Perry, along with Jesse and Nathan
earlier, all four left. Peggy laid on the sofa while Sandy watched Cash in the Attic and Jackie Brown.
Dan was sleeping, Charlie was on the computer, Craig was on the computer, and I was crocheting.
We were all fat and lazy. Finally about 4 Sandy and Peggy decided to load about half the food and
go home, where we can all vegetate in peace. All in all it was a calm Christmas.

We have had more expensive holidays, we have had small children, we have holidays where we have felt
that we have more sad holidays, and we have had Christmas where we felt that we had a lot to lose.
Since most of us have felt that I will die soon and this is our last time together, it seemed very poignant.
But afterall, we knew my mother was dying; we knew Craig's mom was dying, it is not all that earth
shattering. I am grateful for the time I have known, and I am grateful for the people I have loved. I hope
these people have loved me. Thank you, dear Lord.

Saturday, December 24. I have done every thing I am going to do to get ready for Christmas. The family
is coming to our house to celebrate. We will open our gifts and have buffet style dinner, sometime in the afternoon. When my Dad or my older sister is tired they will go home. It works for me. They are going to
have ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, a tray of vegetables, and I don't know what else. I am sure we will never be hungry. I am sure that I will not be wet or cold so will stay
comfortable. Other than of dying of cancer, I am doing just fine. We do not have all the money we could
use, but we are get along.

In the name of Jesus Christ, we have a wonderful life. I have everything I want, if not every I want.

Friday, December 23. I am supposed to see Dr. on the 27 for more chemo and for his checkup
Evidently he expected to have me have more chemo earlier than that, perhaps on the week of
the 10. I didn't realize that, neither did his office. I don't think it made much difference. I have reached
a stage where more chemo does't have much good. We can only see.

I could have continued on the trip to San Antonio but I lost track. Let's pick up on the flood waters
outside of San Antonio on Thursday morning. We could fnd only find only one open road, the road to
Bandero. We did not realize that this town was closed in the morning and again at night. Really. We were
so ignorant that we did not realize that in dry land conditions they had quick, sudden floods that ran
over the roads, and then ran down in the afternoon. If we had just stayed at the cafe for a couple of
hours we could then leave. Instead we paid $93 and stayed overnight. The next day we were again
stuck at the cafe (good eggs over easy, bacon, hash browns, toast) and we were again going to spend
the night. Some good Samaritan told us that we could get to I-10 if we just waited a few hours, so
we did that. We decided that we did not have enough time to go to Albuquerque so drove staight
through to Amarillo. We spent the night at the Motel 8 at the Amarillo and then took the I-40 to
Oklahoma City then to I-35 to KC. Peggy kept getting sicker due to a bladder infection with the
intenion of see her Dr. on Monday. By Sunday though she was so sick she needed to go to the
Emergency room. There we found that she had septis and almost died. It was quite a trip all together.

I have been sick, because of cancer I have difficulty writing. It is similar to having a stroke. I now have
forgotten words, I write like a kindergartener, I not have small my movements on my right arm, I used to
use a wheelchair but could use my left leg with a walker, now I can not lift my left leg except with much
difficulty. I have difficulty using my right hand for eating, going to the bathroom. I can type but slowly.
All this in the course 4 days. I feel very discouraged. I know I will die soon, rather than later. I cannot
do my needlework now, I can crochet but with difficulty and poorly. I simply do not have much good
to say. I would kill myself if I had more courage. There is nothing for me to do. I just don't want my
loved ones suffer and I don't know how to prevent that.

To continue about San Antonio and the Alamo. The trees are called live oak trees and they grow to
be really huge. They have limbs that grow down to the ground and then back up. Very interesting.
The Alamo was very interesting. I think every American should see it at once. Truthfully, there can
be some controversy about whether who was the aggressor, and who was right or wrong. Nevertheless,
146 men were very valiant and courageous.

After you have performed your obligatory history course, you can go shopping. Along the Alamo Plaza
are a number of Mexican shops full of imported items; everything from very nice silver to very crummy
wooden toys. There is a lunchroom that looks like it has been operating since the 1930's, which is about
the time the River Walk started. The lunch room has pressed tin ceilings along with wooden floors. I had
black eyed peas and corn bread to die for. We went back the next morning for 2 eggs over easy, bacon,
hash browns and toast, again very good. I'd be happy to eat there for every meal, but I think Peggy
thought it was declasse.

I have gotten all out of synch, so I am going to start again in better order. Peggy and I were driving to San
Antonio and arrived fairly early in the day on Friday. We were too early to check in, so we left our
car and luggage and went exploring. We checked out the Alamo chapel. It was very small, made of lime-
stone. They told us that it really is not as the chapel appealed in 1836 but has been restored as it later
appeared. We shopped at the t-shirt
shops and saw some very nice silver jewelry and other Mexican tourist stuff. Finally we were able to
check in to our rooms. That night we asked people how to get to River Walk they looked at us pretty strange.
We were closer to River Walk than we realized. We headed to Boudreus but ended up at some place
like Great American or something. I had a chili burger, not too good; I forget what Peggy ordered but it
was bar and grill type food. We took the water tour of the River Walk and enjoyed that, then went back
to our hotel. Being a couple of old fogies we went to bed early. I found a strange white spot on the
bed spread. It was only months later that I realized what it was. Tomorrow I will continue with the
San Antonio adventure.